that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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