clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
