would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am one with the molecules
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
