genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you win again, gameday.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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