is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
