Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I didn't notice because vodka
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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