i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
