She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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