yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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