I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
