now i know why i became what i already was.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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