No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
