I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am never drinking with the goths again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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