and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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