Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
