this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
