Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
