Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
