Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i now understand why vodka
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
