i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
