I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The ass gains better be worth it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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