I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
