Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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