I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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