I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I want a musical about memes.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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