Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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