one two three fourrrrnication!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
