I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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