Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize