I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
