Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
