He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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