Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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