We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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