at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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