Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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