You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
