sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
