In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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