I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
