Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
