shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
