I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize