why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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