I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize