were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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