i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
