You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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