everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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