im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
