I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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