Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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