I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
