Nicole vs. Life
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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