I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
