I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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