Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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