Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
