I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
