just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
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