I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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