she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
