I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
